bpburgoyne

I have never wanted to be good at a sport.  I always found sports to be boring considering they were most often "forced fun".  Yep...lets get out there and play for the sake of our parents who are more interested in how we do than we are.  Yea.

Now in Korea I find myself bowling on a regular basis.  Why?  There is a bowling alley right next to my apartment.  Games are a dollar and they stay open until 2 am.  Who woulda thought?  Hell, I used to laugh at people who bowled.   Ah but no more!  I now respect anyone who can reach a score of 200.

I want my own bowling shirt.  With my name on it.  In Korean.  Is that wrong?

The manager there is nice.  He helps us stupid foreigners who invade his establishment.  Personally, I think he just likes to laugh his ass off at our mistakes.

Recently I have begun to watch a show called "Reaper."   A friend recommended it to me.  The synopsis is what caught me...

Sam has had a slacker life until he turned 21.  He finds out that his parents sold the soul of their first born to the devil to cure the dad of a deadly disease.  They decided that if they didn't have any children, they would be fine...except that their doctor had gambling debts...the devil wiped them clean if he lied and told them mom was infertile.

Sam is now the devil's bounty hunter.  He has to catch souls that escape from hell.  He and his slacker friends try to catch these souls using odd objects and advice from the devil(played by Ray Wise).  They then return the souls to the DMV(apparently that is hell on earth).  I heartily recommend this show.  It is on the CW or the WB or whatever it is called now...

During my period of boredom over here, I have been looking for things to do.  Apparently, to keep me from getting into trouble, my supervisors have had no shortage of tasks for me to complete.  I consider this a good thing.  So, I have been editing textbooks for the past week.  I do believe I am ready for a new pair of glasses.  Luckily, however, I get paid extra for this.

Now you are probably thinking "how does this relate to soju?"  I shall explain.

First, for those of you who do not know, soju is a Korean rice alcohol.  It is stronger than Barry Bonds on steroids and is smoother than the Devil's tongue.  It is a dangerous drink.  South Koreans love it.

Every time I complete an extra task or we finish a session, everyone involved goes out for dinner.  I like this.  Free food is good.  To honor those involved, the supervisors and other management  types( of which there are more of than people ACTUALLY  doing the work) come around and pour a shot of soju to each person individually.  This is considered an honor because the person of lowest status at the table usually keeps the glasses filled.   On this last little venture, there were 7 supervisors.  This meant 7 shots of soju.  You can't turn it down.  That would be offensive.  You could get away with turning it down if you are driving or some such.  I do not have that excuse. 

You also pour one for the supervisor so they can share.

It is my firm believe supervisors die of liver cancer.

Either way, I go home fairly buzzed and wake up with dwarves pounding on the inside of my skull with very large hammers.  Luckily my period of "vacation" is almost over.

I do believe I am going to go hide somewhere until it is.

I promise I will never complain of being bored again!

Firefly from Joss Whedon.  Outstanding show cancelled after 12 episodes.

Well, the trainees have gone home.  The session is over.  I now have two weeks to come to work and...do nothing.  I am really bored.  This can be a dangerous mood.  Dangerous for other people, that is.  I have a tendency to pull pranks and come up with elaborate practical jokes...  I'll let you know what I come up with.

I have found Nirvana.  There is an English speaking bookstore in Korea that ships for free.  Yes.  I have seen the top of the mountain...and it ships in 2 days or less.

The Director of the Institute is retiring at the end of next week.   I find this fascinating because I really didn't know we HAD a director until a few weeks ago.  Apparently he spends a lot of time playing golf.  This place, i find out, is a sort of reward for people who have done a good job in the education field.  The Director must have done one hell of a job.  He gets his own driver...for a car, not a golf game.

I'll write more later.  It's not like I don't have the time...

I accepted the attendance sheet from one of the students and said, in an offhanded manner, "Ney, khamsamnida (yes, thank you)."

Wait, my brain said, what did you just say?  That wasn't English...

Whoa, I thought, I'm in South Korea.

Yes, I know, many of you are saying to yourself, "Duh, Captain Obvious, you left and went half way around the world to teach."  I know, but it just sort of hit me.  I have been here for three months and didn't  realize how so many things became common.  But worry not, things are still cool!

Sorry it took me so long to send another update, but I have been busy teaching an English course.  These are very long days.  But, here it goes!


Section 1:  Old women in Korea

It is my very firm belief that after a certain age,say 50, women in Korea go color blind.  These women, ajumas, can be seen parading down the street in a riot of colors and patterns.  For example, today I saw one woman  wearing a  bright  pink floral pair of pants with a yellow and black striped shirt.  Ah yes, and the oversized visor.  Oh how common this is!  Yes, if you come to Korea, be prepared to have your retinas seared on a daily basis by these walking fashion trend setters.

Ajumas are also convinced they own whatever property they happen to be sitting on.  Groups of them will congregate in some of the oddest places, sit down and refuse to move for hours.  Sidewalks, bus stops, in a parking lot...you name it. They will not move.  Why? No one knows. 

Ajumas come in two flavors...nice and, you are obviously the devil so i must shout at you to let the world know how evil you are even though I've never met you oh wait here comes someone else I can yell at.    Yep.  Some will smile and greet you like you are their long lost son.  The others will blame you for mad cow disease, global warming, the Beatles breaking up and Kim Jong-il's fashion sense.  Anyone, anytime of day.

Section 2:  Does it come with the hot pepper sauce?

I am also convinced that South Koreans will eat anything as long as it comes in a hot pepper sauce.  "My, are those squid testicles in hot pepper sauce? My favorite!" or " Mmmmm...belly button lint with hot pepper sauce! I wish I had saved room!"  Really, it seems that as long as there is hot pepper sauce involved, it must be edible.  One of the trainees told me that spicy food helps to lose weight because it burns fat.  I believe it helps you lose weight because it doesn't stay in you long enough to digest.  Either way, I'm back under 200 pounds...

South Korean food is tasty but it reminds me of my favorite quote from So I Married an Axe Murderer with Mike Meyers:  "I believe all Scottish food was based on a dare."  Come to South Korea and you will also find this to be true.  Maybe it did start as a couple of kids daring each other to eat this root or that bug...they probably had hot pepper sauce with them...

Section 3: My Trainees

For the past 4 weeks I have been teaching Elementary Teachers how to teach English.  Truly a fascinating group.  I do believe they would pass out and die if someone said a curse word to them.  They are unfailing in their manners, constantly polite and always smiling.  I sometimes wonder if these women went through the same process as the Stepford Wives.

Today was their Micro-teaching lesson presentation.  I have just finished 36 hours of listening to elementary English lessons.  Ladies and Gentlemen, that was a special kind of hell.  I now know why I could never be an elementary teacher.  But it is refreshing to see such creativity from teachers.  They compose songs, make puppets, role-play...whatever!  Just to teach kids English.  Wow.

Something I learned this week...After teachers finish college here, they have to go to a separate training for two years to become a teacher.  Then they have to pass an interview and an examination to become a teacher.  But, after that, they have a job for life.  Yep.  That's what I said.  Life.  Oh sure, they still have to be evaluated every year by their principal, but as long as they get good evaluations, they are golden!

They also switch schools every 3-5 years.  They can move within the province or within the country.  Some of the Korean teachers here at CIFLE will be going to their next assignment in a month.

Well, I have another class coming in.  I'll write more soon.  Take care all!!!

Brian